Yesterday morning I did something unspeakable. It was horrible. I am so ashamed. So, ashamed that I am sharing it with all of you in hopes that at least one of you messages me with “You are not a horrible person.” Yes, I am fishing here. I could really use a little extra love.
Yesterday I planned a special day with two delightful little men. Wyatt is my nephew and a delight. He is always laughing and crashing into things. It sends Hank into fits of laughter that make him fall onto the ground. We love him.
Anyways, back to me being the worst. We have this amazing new pool just a block away from our house and I thought this would be a super fun way to start the day. On our way into the pool I thought to myself “I am going to say Wyatt is Gus.” You see, I have a family pass to the pool. And on that family pass, I have myself, John, Hank, and Gus. So naturally I am going to lie and say Wyatt is Gus, because you know, $3.00 is totally worth it. Oh man, I am the worst.
I scanned my card and the man at the desk said “Who do you have with you?” I responded (without making eye contact, because I am a horrible liar) “I have Hank and Gus.” And then it happened. “Oh wonderful!” he said, “We do not have their photos in the system yet. Please hold them up so I can add them in.” Blank stare. No no no. If I could have crawled back to my car with my tail between my legs, I would have. Can I lie more? Can I come back in a few weeks with Gus and say “That isn’t Gus. I do not know who that is.” Am I ready to invest in a life time supply of lies?
Hank and Wyatt were naturally running laps and smearing their pudgy little hands over the glass door. The man asked if they would like their picture taken and they both yelled “Yeah!” as they ran through the lobby. (Which is ironic, as Hank is never compliant with photos). Panic set in. I needed a reason to say we couldn’t take the picture. So, I walked over to the boys, bent down, and whispered “Wyatt, fake cry.” Wyatt turned his head to the side and smiled, “What Annie?!” “Wyatt, pretend to cry for me, okay?” He looked at me like I was trying to sell him drugs. He chuckled, “I am not going to do that.”
So here I am. Eye to eye with one of my favorite people in the world. He wasn’t a liar. I was. Hank was standing between the both of us, looking back and forth, waiting to see who was the victor. And then I realized that I was in fact, a horrible human being. At this point, it was absolutely not about the three measly dollars. It was about my pride. I did not want anyone to know that I was a liar, a liar over $3.00.
And then I did it. I did it for Wyatt and Hank. I stood up at the desk and said this “I am a liar.” The happy man responded with a cockeyed confused look. “I told you this was Gus, and it is not. This is my nephew. I am a horrible person and just lied to you in front of these children and I am so sorry. I will never ever do it again. I will happily pay the three dollars and I am ashamed of myself.” I gave them the three dollars, (thank God I had cash), looked down and prodded to the locker room. Hank and Wyatt happily waved and loudly yelled good bye as we left the lobby. After all, they had nothing to be ashamed of.
Although I am ashamed of myself, I am calling it a learning experience. It isn’t a lesson about cheating or stealing. I already knew that is wrong. I did it anyway. I am calling it a lesson on pride. Wyatt had too much pride to fake cry. He is a big boy after all. He should be proud of it. He wasn’t going to give all of those people a reason to think he was a crying baby. I was a liar, and I had too much pride to admit it. But in the end, we all end up being seen for who we are. He was a big boy and I was a liar. He got to emerge victorious, waving boldly as he ascended to the pool of bliss. I got to avoid eye contact and cower like a puppy who had just peed on the floor.
Here is to you, Wyatt. You are a victorious delight. Thank you for reminding me to have pride in the things I want to be, not in the things I do not.
We had a fantastic day! After the pool, we topped off the day with a visit to Hank and Gus’s preschool, an invitation to check out the inside of a cop car, a visit to Mc Donald’s, lots of play time, and we replaced nap time with movie time. We watched “KungFu Panda”. Wyatt called it “Poop Panda.” Hank is still laughing about it.
And for the record, when I shared my pool story with my mom, she laughed until she cried. And when I shared it with my brother (Wyatt’s dad) he also laughed until I asked him to stop. So, I must not be too much of a horrible liar, or I do not feel like there would be a ton of humor in it for these people.